As organisational hierarchies and layers decrease, enhancing personal effectiveness and influencing skills is crucial in today’s work environment. Results and success can only be achieved through and by others. Being able influence people without formal authority is an essential skill, and we cannot do this without confidence, clarity of purpose and the communication skills to fully express ourselves. In our role as leaders, we require that we draw on the qualities we possess and also how we can influence and motivate our team members.
However, it is not solely about getting people to accept our point of view – we may be able influence people to cooperate with us. However, they may not always agree with our views. This isn’t about winning at any cost and having to get our own way every all the time. It is not about forcing or convincing other people to change. We can’t change other people.
Influencing skills involves acting in ways that offer other people the opportunity to change (their attitude, behaviour thoughts, ways of thinking, etc.) or accommodate your wishes whilst accepting that they may not be able to or aren’t willing to or unprepared to to be changed.
The definition of influence skills
Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway, defines influencing as
“not the ability to persuade anyone to do something you want them to do is the ability to convince yourself to do what you want to accomplish”
We may like it in the end or not reality is that we use influencers all the time and not just through our actions. The mere presence we have at a meeting may influence people in a positive or negative way. The manner or the nature of our presence, the things we speak or do, how we speak and the manner in which we (unconsciously or not) portray is a huge influence.
The more adept we become at recognizing what we do or the things we do about us that is affecting on others, the more efficient and effective we be.
Ten key influencing skills
Be aware of non-verbal communication – what’s not being said, what a person might be feeling and paying attention to your own thoughts, feelings, hunches and intuitions
Interpretation – to understand and respond to non-verbal signals and body signals or changes in skin color breath, demeanour etc., mean.
Active Listening: To listen to the words spoken and listen to what is implied or not said as well as being able to express in your own words what the other person has said and express their opinions as well as a summary of your own thoughts and ensuring that you are in agreement.
Feedback – provide feedback to the other person about the things you observe, interpret and hear, as well as what you sense and feel. Inquire feedback from other people in order to develop your own self-knowledge and impact on others.
Awareness – be conscious of your surroundings, moment by moment, focusing on behaviors that are detrimental to your health, your limiting thoughts, beliefs and reactions.
Choices – recognise anytime if how you are behaving isn’t working, you have the option to alter your behavior, thoughts and emotions.
Self-confidence is the feeling of being at ease even in the face of opposition or conflict. This confidence should be built on self-acceptance and not based on a sense of superiority to others.
Timing – be able be able to get the timing right, for when to provide feedback and when not to, when to use choice either ‘A’ or ‘B’, when to retreat or persist, and when to give up completely.
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Intuition – trust your own intuition or thoughts about the probable patterns of another person’s behaviour, to listen to your positive, inner voice.
A Different Viewpoint – look at your objectives (what you’d like to achieve) from the other person’s viewpoint. You are not able to control or force them to agree so decide what’s important to them, then present them with the benefits, look at your opinions and be prepared to alter your position.
The modern workplace relies heavily on relationships and influence skills – both working with and through other people. It’s not often that you can be personally effective and influence others positively without the reciprocal giving and taking from other people that creates opportunities to grow and increase your effectiveness. You can only achieve this if you have the support and challenges that only other people can give you.
